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Day 13: Love Fights Fair
I've never been a huge rule breaker (except for a few select instances in college that I won't get into right now..); as far as I'm concerned, rules are made for a reason and should be respected and followed.
This is especially true for relationships.
Fighting fair is something we all need to strive for in our marriages--too often, we let our pride get in the way of clear, productive thinking, which is something I had to work on early on in Brandon's & my relationship.
For today's dare..
Talk to your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement.
This is a conversation that Brandon and I have never had; Brandon is fairly laid back when it comes to our arguments and is usually able to get past things really quickly.
Me on the other hand? Not so much (this was a problem when we were dating).
Before Brandon and I were married, I set some rules for myself when it came to fighting that I still abide by today. Those rules include:
- Think it over for a day--is what you're upset about really that big of a deal? Is it going to matter a week from now? If no, just let it go. If yes..
- ..kindly bring it up (never go into it crying/screaming).
- Talk it out and let it go (I always go into these conversations saying "Okay, I need to talk to you about this or that and I'll never bring it up again after this")--I know several people who let their issues fester and build and then continually bring it up for years to come; this is harmful and completely unnecessary. Talk it over, say you're sorry (if need be), and let it go.
Today, I dare you to talk with your spouse about healthy rules of engagement. If you aren't ready for this, make a list for yourself. See if you notice any changes in your relationship in the coming days, weeks, and months.
I certainly did.