What I've Learned From Wedding Mags

I remember the first time I bought a wedding magazine. I was 18, had just started college, and needed something to read (after all, I wasn't about to read my speech book...). I headed over to Target and started perusing the many titles and ran across the Colorado edition of "The Knot." I had never looked through a wedding magazine before but it seemed like a no-brainer choice since I was now a 'mature adult.'

No more Seventeen Magazine for this girl! Oops, I mean woman!

I started thumbing through all the stunning dresses, breathtaking venues, and masterpiece cakes. Oh yeah, this was all totally doable and I'd easily be able to fork over $35K for a "The Knot" style wedding.

Annnnnnddddd, fast forward to today.

I met my dream man almost two years ago, had my fairytale Disney proposal, and finally came to the realization that the whole $35K thing just ain't gonna to fly.

Okay, okay I'll admit that I still buy bridal magazines (I figure that after January I'll never get to again so might as well do it now!) to thumb through. After all, the featured weddings are pretty incredible--but I came to a realization last night about what I'm really learning from "The Knot" and "Brides."

I now present to you the seven things I've learned from wedding magazines. 

1.) Every bride must save room in her budget for a valet and calligrapher.

Umm, yeah I'll make sure to pay somebody to move somebody's car 10 feet and then write a guests address onto an envelope. Thanks for reminding me. 

2.) Some wedding gown designers only cater to size 0 women. 

Since I couldn't even fit my right foot into one of those dresses, I will take my size 6 booty elsewhere.

3.) Not everyone's wedding day is happy.

So many questions and thoughts with this one.. why is she just chilling outside with a sheet? Why is she slouching? Is her dress supposed to be that color or did that happen when she ran around the scary forest behind her? And why is she so sad? The world may never know. 

4.) The best way to save on flowers is to get whats in season or grow your own. 

Or just go with silk ones which makes the most sense to me.

5.) When you buy a wedding magazine, you're paying for more ads than you are for actual articles.

This one goes without further explanation. 

6.) There is such a thing as wedding insurance and apparently I need to buy it.

Okay, I can only afford one type of insurance.. so I guess I better drop my auto so I can buy wedding insurance. What's the worst that can come from that?

I have a picture just like this of my friends and me at my NYC bachelorette party.

7.) The best bachelorette parties happen in posh NYC, glorious Cancun Mexico, or fabulous Las Vegas.

..or anywhere your friends are.

Okay, maybe I'm just jealous of all these extra luxuries (minus numbers 3 and 7--you DON'T have to go to New York) and I will probably still buy and read bridal magazines for the next two and a half months.. I just feel that weddings this day and age have gotten so blown of proportion and that the true meaning/importance of a wedding and marriage are getting buried under all the unnecessary extravagances.

I'm just beyond blessed and excited to be marrying the man of my dreams--and that is something you can't find in a wedding magazine.

But I do still want a photobooth..